today is a clean slate :)

i’ve been feeling a bit down lately.. and this morning, i decided it was time to clear the desk (which is a metaphor for my life) and start anew.

i purposedly turned up late for work. well, that wasn’t really part of the plan; i was still a little bv when i woke up and i decided i’d turn up late. i got out of the house at around 8:30am and dropped by mini stop to get cobra smart… because i want to believe that caffeine will help me tolerate the world. the kuya who punched in my purchase was happilly dancing and singing along to a jeje song on the radio. his happiness, despite what was probably a very long 8-hour shift, made me a bit jelly. he made me want to download a myriad of jeje hiphop songs and listen to them all day, if that’s what it’ll take to be happy again. i think it’s gonna take a while for me to forget how giddy he was.

while walking to kalayaan where i usually wait for my first jeep, i sipped my cobra smart and began to take a long, hard look at things. i felt the change in the atmosphere as the caffeine entered my system. i was able to convince myself that being and staying disappointed about life isn’t going to save me.

i took my usual jeep but got off at puregold and not philcoa because i suddenly decided that i had to at least get to work earlier than i planned to if i wanted to start changing things soon. the trike driver took a wrong turn after reaching maginhawa (and i think this was on purpose eugh) and i called him out for it. when i got off at knl, he charged me 5 pesos more than what i usually paid for trike trips to cp garcia. what a sonovabitch. i was angry.

i walked the short stretch of a portal that bisected the park/playground area to the ikot stop. it was then that i realized that i was really angry because it was the driver’s fault that we had to take a detour and he had the nerve to charge me extra for it! EUGH. then it hit me: feeling angry is better than not feeling anything at all.

being angry makes me feel more alive.

it wasn’t long after i boarded the ikot jeep that i reached work. i logged in at 9:00am. it was late, but i was the first one in the room. haha.

i sat down and started gluing the spine of my tattered pre-loved copy of GoT, after which i turned on my laptop, checked gmail and fb, then started writing this blog post.

in a few minutes, i will be turning on my Strict Pomodoro and kick life hard in the balls.

LEZDODIZ BITCHEZZZ !!!

wrote this at around 9:30-ish am

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